★★★★★ 5
Fascinating and important history of masculinity in Americz
Format: Hardcover
Our boys are not ok. Our families are not ok.
“Despite the growing evidence that boys are falling behind, many people resist proposals to help young males. After all, they say, men still end up in most positions of power. And it’s true that men are more likely than women to be presidents, CEO’s, film directors, Fortune 500 board members, and Silicon Valley entrepreneurs. But while we focus on the maybe 10 percent of powerful, successful alpha males, we have been blinded to the fact that on average men are doing worse than in the past. Men are more likely than women to be homeless, to suffer mental illness, to wind up in prison, to commit suicide, to be murdered, to be addicted to drugs or alcohol…in recent years, men’s life expectancy has even gone down, while women’s has remained the same” (page 25)
Nancy Pearcey uses decades of social science data and historical research to demonstrate how and when the cultural script for masculinity turned toxic - from one that reflected the biblical definition of manhood (provide, protect, and serve wife, family, and community as Christ served his church) to one that has become nearly the exact opposite- and how it has fueled the ever widening rift between the sexes. Spoiler alert: the Industrial Revolution, Post-modernism, and Darwinism played major roles in turning the script for masculinity toxic.
This book has the most concise and beautiful explanations of biblical manhood, womanhood, and marriage - including defining headship and submission- that I have read. Pearcey shows through hard data how communities have flourished under God’s plan for marriage and how society denigrates the further it strays from that plan. Men and women were made to be “co-heirs in the kingdom of God” (Peter 1:3) not fighting a battle of the sexes. While the problem has been a drastic move from the biblical definition of manhood, the author chronicles how the church in many cases has been implicit in allowing this toxic and unbiblical version of manhood. Interestingly, Pearcey herself grew up in a Christian home with an abusive father, causing her to become agnostic (and feminist) until later in her life when she found Christ. A large part of the book addresses domestic abuse and how many churches have empowered entirely unbiblical male dominance. She also sets forth practical solutions for both families and churches on how to reclaim the script of masculinity that lifts up and empowers not just men but also women and communities. One way is to make the career more flexible to allow men to take more active roles in the family.
This is a really important book for a time when “children with absent fathers account for 63 percent of youth suicides, 90 percent of homeless and runaway children, 85 percent of children who exhibit behavioral disorders, 71 percent of high school dropouts, and 85 percent of youths sitting in prisons.” P.193
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Reviewed in the United States on July 7, 2023